I totally did NOTHING today.

YUP! Because I'm a lameass loserface dummyhead. Or something like that. Man, I need a life. That'd be freakin awesome, if I had one of those. Or a car, because a car is the gateway to having a life. I'd just go to people's houses, who I KNOW aren't home, and sit in front of their house until they got there. Because I'm the shit like that.

Yeah, so, I kinda hope tomorrow will be better. Doubt it, though. Still nobody to hang out with and nothing to do. Man, I keep having dreams that I get something. Like a big ole wad of cash, or an iPhone, a car. Stupid pointless dreams, making me feel bad about reality. Agh, lame.

Last night was a baaaaad, bad night for me, man. I felt like I was about to die. Like, seriously, I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore. I'm just stuck on the same thing for so fucking long, and I never get noticed, no matter how fucking nice I am or any of that shit. And I get pissed off because everybody else is a fucking asshole, and I try so hard not to be. Everybody else just disregards all that potential and all that worth, and they just poke fun and ignore. And I'm the only one who's willing enough to say that it's wrong, but I just can't say it aloud. I can't tell it to their face, because then I look like some kind of retard dipshit who's desperate for some "love" or what the fuck ever, but not really. I really don't give a shit if I'm rejected. It's not even like that. It's just somebody has to say it. Somebody has to fucking tell them that they are fucking AMAZING, and that everybody who doubts it is a fucking IDIOT, and they should slap themselves for not realizing how much inspiration they've been missing.

And the fucked up part is, they bring her down, and she just goes with it like it's alright. It's fine she's being ignored. It's ok that none of her ideas come to fruition. Why? Because you fuckheads aren't ready yet? NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH. And I know some of the others have spoken to her, and they know how much she can do. How much she WOULD do with a little bit of help. None of them do anything about it though. They hear her out and say, "Oh, well, that's all dandy, but..." There should be no but. There should just be, "YEAH, let's do it NOW."

But of course, like the cycle of life goes, they underestimate her, and just write off her thoughts as "to be considered in the future." Not good enough. Why do you do that? Maybe I'm just rambling nonesense because I'm out of the loop and I don't know the whole story, but still, somebody clarify then. Why?

And you know what else is fucked up, SHE takes so much shit from us. Like, she takes all the insults and all the hurt and we're fucking hypocrits calling HER the asshole. Calling HER the bitch. No, it's not her, it's us. We're assholes, and we're bitches. She told me once that she's just a mirror of me. She simply mirrors what everyone says to her. And we have the audacity to tell her that SHE's mean to us? No. Wrong. I know, because I was one of those, and I know that I was wrong for that. Numerous times, we've made her cry, and we've hurt her, and she doesn't show it to any of us. She holds it in because she's so strong and so brave, and then she comes back every single time we gather to take some more of it, because she loves us, even though we treat her like we do.

Why is that?

How about a new year's resolution. How about we stop that. I mean, I understand we play around with eachother, but sometimes we do it more to certain people, and sometimes we go too far. And she has trouble showing her emotions, because she'd rather just ignore it, but I see her tears, and I see what we do to her, and as a brother in Christ, I KNOW that it's wrong. I KNOW that we're wrong. And I'm done hiding and letting it happen. I want to be a brother. A good one that my family in Christ can rely on, no matter what. So I'm gonna start with this.

And if you think I'm just writing this because I like her... FUCK YOU. You're an idiot, and you're just denying that you're an asshole to her.

Oh yeah, this is about Michelle. Sorry, didn't clarify. I am not hiding anymore, fuck that shit, I'm mad.