Ah hell.

Today was one of those bad days.

I mean, I did have some fun, and it was alright, but I just didn't have the will to do anything. Especially after the meeting. I cloaked it pretty good, but the side of me I wasn't showing was telling me to just sleep, or leave, or shoot myself, or something. I didn't want to hang around for very long, even though I put up my guise. It seems everything that I do, no matter how righteous or loving it may be, I'm still just a footnote. I'm still just some guy who says pretty stuff sometimes. I never make an impact, like ever.

Don't get me wrong, people HAVE told me that I'm inspiring, but I don't think so. They didn't really listen to, or read what I said or wrote. They didn't keep it with them. I dunno, I guess I'm just being sad and emo right now, but honestly, I feel like whatever I do, I'm just not good enough. I'm inadequate. I'm worthless. I hate that feeling so much, you don't even understand. Like, I try to be caring and loving, and I try and try and it's just like... Blah. Whatever. Is that all I am? Just whatever?

I might be thinking too much into it, but that's what I feel like. I don't feel like I do anything good anymore. I can't sing or dance anymore. I can't play guitar very well. And even my writings seem dull lately. Like I'm just writing because I'm bored, and not because I'm feeling a certain way like usual, so the writing never really comes to life. I dunno. I'm lame. Whatever.