Ahh, sweet life.

Jeeze.

Today is looking to be dull and uninspiring. And tomorrow may just be worse. It hurts to LAY DOWN. That's how sore I am. It feels like right after brotherhood, except the soreness is in my chest and not my legs. Only good thing I've gotten outta this is that I lost 6 lbs in a week, which is pretty amazing. I'm already 10% of the way to my goal. At this rate, it'll only take 3-4 months to complete. Then I'll be SEXAAY. Haha.

But anyways, that's not the point of this post. That's more of an update on how I'm doing kinda thing. Yeah.

So what I've noticed is that I don't necessarily have to concentrate on anything anymore. School is a bust, I just have to get OK grades and I'm set to go. Like.. C's. It's not that serious anymore. I'm spiritually in tact right now too, all this working out and getting ready to go to the Air Force has got me praying and looking to God alot more than usual. But of course, there's that one thing. That one thing that's always been there.

I'm planning to let it out before I go, but it has to be in person. Can't do it on the internet or over the phone like I'm usually compelled to do, because I'm cowardly like that. Ahh, even if I leave heartbroken, it won't matter, because I'll be leaving. Anyways, I'm supposed to clear up any issues that I have before I go anyways, so whatev.

I know I should have dropped this whole thing 7 or 8 months ago, but honestly, I don't see myself anywhere else. Every time I'm presented with an opportunity elsewhere, I wonder if it'll advance my current state with the one that I'm looking at. Agh, and I hate talking in code, too. Like right now, I can't mention any details about it or anything, but I have to write about it somewhere. Isn't that redundant? Whatever.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure anyone could guess what I'm talking about. Or maybe not. If you can, then please tell me, so I can talk to you about it. I really need to talk to somebody about it, but I'm too scared to tell anyone. Maybe somebody can guess it for me.