This is my purpose...

First post in a long time. My last blog pretty much epitomizes the attitude that I once held for the world. Unlimited amounts of contempt, balled up nicely into a ticking bomb of anger, sarcasm, and profanity. I'm sort of glad that that phase of my life is over, though I still find what I used to write pretty funny.

It's actually been awhile since I've felt the urge to rant about anything. The problem is, I don't feel the need to anymore. I don't feel like raising my voice in contempt, and in actuality, my word really isn't heeded anyways. Now, in substitution for contempt, I have glee. In substitution for anger, I have bliss, and though I still retain my knowledge, I have gained something more. I have gained just a smidgen of wisdom, and it is that wisdom that keeps me on the relaxed side of the aggravation spectrum.

And it's funny, because I attained such wisdom from God. Not to say that I have one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but I have been blessed with maturity, even though before, I thought that I was way beyond my years, I was still trapped by my own ignorance. That's done now, time to move on.

About four months ago, in April, I attended a youth retreat run by a certain organization entitled, "CFC-Youth For Christ". It was there, at the retreat, that I discovered something that had been missing in my life, that I didn't realize. I thought it was simply my nature to be angry or sad all the time. Never have I felt good about life. There was always something wrong, something major, and every single day, I grieved for myself. I couldn't imagine a time where I knew everything was going to be alright, where I had hope that everything would eventually straighten itself out. Not until I went to the retreat.

Now, I knew most of the camp servers quite well already. They were friends from school, or just people that I knew. That fateful weekend, they became my brothers and sisters in Christ. And not only that, but they also became my teachers, my idols, my mentors, and my inspiration. Even though a few of them were younger than me. They showed me a new passion, something that I could firmly believe in, wholeheartedly, without having to hold back anything. They showed me God, and now I can see Him as vividly as I can see the sky, or the clouds within them, or the green grass carpeting the ground. I can see.

And in those four months, I've done SO MUCH! If I hadn't joined, I would be 40 lbs. heavier by now, haha. And now approaches my turn to be a server. To be some guy, who will become someone's brother. To inspire another as I have been inspired, and show the new candidates something they've probably never seen before, and I have come to the realization that this is my calling, this is what I am here for, at least for now, it could change in the future, but for NOW, I am here to spread the love of God to those who are still hungry for it. And I will do so, knowing in my mind, that I am predestined to do it, that God has chosen me and handed me this charge.

I am ready.