Has anybody ever told you that you were worthless? What if they told you every single fucking day, and you KNEW they were right, but you still don't fucking do anything about it because you're destined to be a fucking screw up the rest of your meaningless, pathetic life, and you've accepted this fate because it's all that you can do just to wake up in the morning and set your mind to different things like school or God or a girl who'll never fucking EVER look at you the same way that you look at her, no matter what the fuck you do.
I live in this fucking fantasy world, pretending that everything's ok, but the bare, unedited truth is that I'm going fucking nowhere. Legally an adult and I'm not doing shit for myself. I don't have a fucking license, or a fucking job. And within the next two months, I am going to literally be on the fucking streets. And I don't have a parent's house to fall back on, because I don't have any fucking parents who give a shit, or are capable of taking me in.
I'm ass out, and this shit is so fucking frustrating because I can't do anything about it. Even if by some miracle somebody would hire someone like me, I'd still have no house to live in. And you know what's REALLY fucked up? I couldn't GIVE A SHIT, because all these fucking dickheads that call themselves my "family" keep pounding it in my brain that I'm fucking useless, so why even try to bother?
I don't have a fucking future. I don't have goals, I don't have aspirations. I don't WANT anything in this fucking irrelevant, unimportant, dull, microcosmic piece of SHIT that I call my life. It's fucking worthless. I am fucking worthless, and what sucks is, I'm too much of a pussy to take a blade to my wrists or put a bullet in my own brain.
What the fuck did I do? Is this supposed to be some kind of fucking test? Should I even care? I mean, if I do die, I'm probably gonna go to hell anyways, who the fuck would want my fatass in heaven? Fucking nobody.
This shit is so fucking stupid. And don't tell me to fucking pray. The only thing worth praying for, to a loser like me, is death.
Fuckit. I don't care.
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