Oh jeeze.

Before I start... Wtheck is up with my blog titles? I just put down the first thing I think about, even if it has nothing to do with the blog itself. Or I make it like extra vague, so it can pertain to anything. Just like this one. Oh well... Aaanyways, time for the real content.

Last night, I was contemplating the decision to leave for the Air Force. I want to go, because I know that it's the right choice, and I actually do want to experience being in the military, but I just don't want to go yet. I don't want to move again, because I just don't want to leave again. Ever since I was 10 years old, I haven't lived in the same place for more than 2 years. And as July '08 rolled by, I was happy that I made it for a year, and now it's soon going to be 2 years, and I'm supposed to leave?

I have real friends here. I have YFC here. And, as stupid as it is, I don't want to leave them. I'll leave for 4 years and the people who weren't even old enough to drive will be old enough to drink. And I don't want to miss that. I want to see that growth happen, and witness that life, and be apart of it. And not just some guy who was cool before, but then I left, and now I barely talk to them anymore. And then when I get back, will they remember me? When I get back, will I still be their friend? Every single time I moved, when I got back, I had no idea where my friends were, and I made some new ones.

Then again, before I never had REAL friends. Now I have people who I even go so far as calling my brothers and sisters. Not only in Christ, but in life. They're like the family I never had. And I'm supposed to leave them? Even if it's for a relatively short period of time, I still don't want to miss anything. I don't want to miss THEM.

So, my decision is... I want to wait, maybe just for another year before I ship out. I don't want to leave so soon. And I also want to make it past that 2 year mark.

But WAIT, there's MORE. Hahaha. Totally different content, though... Yeah, remember, this is not about the Air Force anymore... Right.

So, occasionally, I have phone conversations with certain people at night... Usually when I'm bored. Usually. And last night I was speaking to somebody. It was a long talk, and we went back and forth from life problems, to God, to other people, and then back to God, and then problems again. And every time I hear this person's strife, it's like, everybody wants to target them. You know, even if they really, HONESTLY, didn't do anything. Even people who aren't even apart of the situation get mad, and insult them behind their back. It's like... Whoa. Calm down.

And nobody gets what they're doing, because they just think about themselves. Oh you know, THIS person is easy to pick on. But why? Why do you choose to only target them for insults? And it's not even just this person, y'know, everywhere there's that one guy or girl who just gets dissed for no reason. And you see that stuff in the movies, right? And you feel bad for that poor little loser who gets made fun of all the time. And then you come out here into the real world, and then you contribute to throwing insults at that person who you felt bad for.

I don't know why we single people out. Well I DO... Because they're different from us, because they're weird, and somehow this annoys us. And maybe I'm a hypocrite because I have said some HELLA messed up stuff about people, but I just play around, y'know, other people are just straight up insulting, like DAMN, really? You would go that far? For what reason? Oh yeah, because we all don't like this person, so it's ok to say all this horrible crap about them, even if they really didn't do anything. And that makes me both mad and confused, because it's like, what the hell. This is a GOOD person who we're tearing down. All they want is for everybody to be happy, even at the cost of their own happiness. So they don't even say anything, and they just sit back and stay quiet about all this stuff, and let everybody keep insulting them.

And to me, it's hella irritating, because I don't want to know that, and I don't want to hear that, and then when I randomly call them, all they can do is cry, and all they can talk about is how everyone is hella messed up, and for what? Nothing. And I'm sitting there like just trying to talk them into being happy and smiling, but they don't have anything to smile about, and they can't be happy. So what then? My new year's resolution is to help the people in need. I guess I have another person to help.