The One.

This I see, visions of her and me,
filling the compilations of my thoughts of she,
and dreams of we-
be, together like mac and cheese,
I vastly seek the paths that lead,
to her heart, so that me, and her, could be,
as one, never to be undone, and I,
would sacrifice, thirty years of the expanse of my life,
in order to have one rhyme that would spark,
a light, and give her an inkling of want to be mine,
just so that one time, I could find,
emotional connection, intense enough to burn the sun,
run with it 'till the song is done,
but I'm only half way through verse one.

Yet I'm set to fail,
cause she's eleven on a one-to-ten scale.
The fall of her gaze impacts like hail,
and I'm left bruised under the icy sheets,
like damn. She's really lookin' at me?
Wit, beauty, and style,
all of these qualities making my strife worthwhile,
if only to see her smile.
And I know, undoubtedly,
that her and me could be.
And I pray for something. Anything.
Show me that opening.
I'll wait forever for that day,
cause she embodies words no one could ever say.
And I don't think I've ever seen her face,
or heard her name.

Holy crap.

You know what happens when I'm stagnant online for a long time? I start losing my jaded, forked-tongue, uncaring demeanor. Well actually, I just stop being clever within my writings. Because I'm unseasoned, and I've gone soft. I find it difficult, at this very moment, to find words that I used commonly before I stopped writing. Maybe life caught up to me, and I'm becomming more and more normal with every day that passes by that I'm not exercising my wit. Eventually, I'll just stop being my old self, and turn into something else. Then again, according to society, my old self was kind of weird. I was introverted, my life revolved around imaginary beings on a stupid looking website, and I was pained for every second that I was away from it. My world was within a computer screen, from when I was 14, until I was 16. Two of the most defining years in a teenager's life. When we evolve from young teenager, to old teenager. Not me, though. I had the mindset of an old teenager from the get-go. Only thing was, my brain kept that adolescent mindset going into adulthood.

I dunno where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just saying I don't know what I am right now. An idiot, a genius, a kid, a man. We'll see.